I feel like it’s such a cliche to say, but this week was so freaking busy!!!! I’m reeling from it, and it’s not even over yet. Working as a freelancer is wonderful, but one of the things a person needs to be prepared for is the inconsistency of it.
I have about 5 steady clients. Normally things run smoothly, and they’re patient about when things get done. But about 5 or 6 times a year, 3-4 of them need me to finish stuff up IMMEDIATELY!!!!
I put a lot of pressure on myself to please everyone (which is futile) and a lot of pressure on myself to go easy on myself (do-able!), so it’s a very tricky, stressful paradox.
When I first started out in this career, and really up until just this month, I’ve allowed this phenomenon to eat me up inside, make me hate my job, and make me question my own capabilities and beat myself up about why I ever thought I’d be any good and/or make any money. In short, I have acted like a psychotic, self-destructive lunatic.
Now, my goal is to achieve inner peace, love my job, love my work, and maintain the trust of my clients. It’s so freaking complex!
Basically, I have to take things slow, be honest with my clients about the time things take to get finished, and find time to work late. The working late part is really the hardest. It makes me really scared about the affects of over-doing, over-working, etc. But something that helps is to think about how my hard work is going to benefit the kids (giving them a comfortable, safe home, hopefully a good education, etc), and as long as I take some time to myself in the midst of it, (I have to have at least a half-hour of time to meditate or stare at a tree or something peaceful like that, little breaks in between each project, and decent food, and good music) I survive, the work gets done, the client is pleased, and money comes home.
So, that’s where I’m at this week, and probably next week as well. I’d better get to grocery shopping so I’ll have my decent food.